Dear Mr. Fox,
I understand that it’s mating season, but screaming to get laid in my front yard at four o’clock in the morning is bad form. All by yourself you sounded like two cats fighting. You woke up my dogs, you woke up me, you woke up my husband and you did not manage to attract a mate. Instead you got yelled at by me. Next time I will throw something at you. Seriously, there is nothing romantic about four o’clock in the morning. It’s not sexy like midnight. It’s not tragic like three a.m., it’s just crappy. Anyone awake at four a.m. wishes they weren’t and everyone else is asleep even apparently female foxes. Go try and hook up somewhere else.